Our rowhouse has a separate legal apartment accessed from the yard that my daughter uses when she’s home. Last weekend we had a confluence of an eavestrough fix that still left water dripping over the stairs in the one part the awning does not cover, a snap freeze and a university-aged child wearing crocs. It was literally a scene from Home Alone (thankfully, she’s OK). My intial response was to reconnect the basement to the main part of the house using a butter knife but cooler heads prevailed and I called in a contractor on Monday for a quote. Before he arrived, I had to clear out the furnace room area that’s about 3” by 3” of a bakers rack with tools, cleaning supplies, gift wrap, old tax files and a large Fortum and Mason Picnic basket.
It does not seem like a lot but this house is a tiny 1800s rowhouse. When I moved it, I unpacked our stuff and had one of those closet companies around it. So there are bookshelves to fit the existing books, a ski rack for the skis etc. We have to have a one thing in, one thing out policy because there is no room at the inn. And suddenly, I have to find a baker’s rack full of stuff to redeploy.
This is a high stakes game of tetris. I wanted to put the gift wrap and cards in the coat closet which was stuffed to the brim. So I had to cull the coats. A couple of coats were more “blazers” so they had to move upstairs into my decidedly non-walk-in closet. And so I had to cull that too.
Tools were gone through mercilessly. During COVID, I had to do a lot of DIY stuff to keep the giant suburban place working but that is no longer my life so I was able to get rid of two storage boxes and whittle things down to a tool box. The taxes moved into the built in file cabinets, which meant a cull there too. I moved some other things into the kitchen storage so that had to be gone through as well.
I tackled the three junk drawers in the house. You know, the place for takeout chopsticks and christmas cracker prizes and buttons.
I see why folks end up on hoarders since - when space is at a premium - it’s never just a matter of cleaning out one drawer. I ended up tackling most of the house. It all culminated in bins and bins of stuff going to charity and an extra large garbage haul.
But every time I do this, I find hidden treasures I squirreled away during that time when we moved five times in seven years. Why was I looking to buy a new cross neklace when I have a John Hardy one hidden among the sample size shampoos? I want to shop my closet more this year and it only works when you can see what you have.
I’m no organizing expert (the delightful Ally Casazza is your go-to gal for decluttering) but these are my tips and tricks should you wish to dig into things.
Turn on a great podcast or audio book. I’m a major overthinker. I need to keep my ADHD mind semi-distracted to tackle such a task. So while I did this, I alternated between Amanda Frances content and Margarita Nazarenko’s The New Rules audio book on Spotify. I love to listen to self-improvement and motivational content while I tidy.
Use the William Morris Rule. My house is from the 1800s so I think it’s cool that the original owner might have been inspired by these same words: “Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.”
Be practical. I am all about using aspirational thinking for manifesting and have some wishful thinking items in my closet. I have kept a couple of floor length ballgowns because I like to think I could be required to use them at a moment’s notice like when I was much younger. And I might. However, I do not need to keep unworn equestrian gear given that I am highly allergic to horses. Thinking about why you are hanging onto items you are not using regularly. If you are keeping your skinny jeans because you are five pounds away from wearing them and they motivate you to go to the gym, that’s fabulous. But if you are hanging onto a size zero dress that makes you feel bad about yourself, get rid of it.
But not too practical. We need some room for magic in our lives. Does it make logical sense to keep a giant picnic basket I never use given that it takes up valuable real estate? Nope. Does it fulfil my childhood wish to dine al fresco with tea sets and small salt shakers à la the Bread and Jam and Bargain for Frances books. Yes it does. So it’s now in my upstairs closet.
Process what arises. If you are doing thorough decluttering, don’t be surprised if energetic clutter emerges. If uncomfortable thoughts or feelings arise, take note of them. Do some journalling or talk to someone, but don’t let them derail your progress.
Look for alignment. Take note of where you’ve been doing wishful buying and why. I like to wear black, grey, cream, and occasionally light pink or baby blue. Period. Every now and again the fashion people will convince me that I need to wear bright yellow and I will cave. And then I keep these pieces in my closet while reaching for the same black jacket over and over again. I’m I-know-what-I-like-to-wear years-old and know I like a New York look: classic preppy items with a tiny bit of edge. So the oversized army jacket I bought to channel some sort of laid back LA person I will never be can be donated.
Get rid of the little ketchup packets that come with takeout. We all have scarcity mentality after COVID but get over it.
Do not freak out if you need something you just tossed. It is a truth universally acknowledged that the moment you get rid of the badminton rackets, your adult children will develop a new-found love of the sport. The universe is having a little fun with you. Stay on course.
Keep what you love. I love art. I have Good Art. I have revenge art (bought from an assholes’s bankruptcy auction.) I have art I’ve found on the curb. I’m not getting rid of it even though it covers every wall surface of my place and is a bit chaotic. I have four pretty similar looking black felt hats I rarely wear but unlock I vibe I enjoy. I’m keeping them all.
Take note of the process before buying more. Is this task monumental? Great. Think of that before you make another Target run. Make a list of what you want and need and stick to it. I want a black caviar Chanel Classic Double Flap bag from the 90s when the hardware was gold-plated (may Matthieu Blazy bring that quality back because the accessories feel like Shein these days). So that means I do not buy another bag instead. This is where manifesting can help as the eye-watering price ascendency of Chanel (and everything else) can build lack mentality. I’ve asked, detached, and will patiently receive. When the bag is meant for me, I will receive it or something better. In the meantime, I have a place on my shelf holding space for it à la the actors in Wicked.
One of the best ways to get unstuck and reset your energy is to declutter. Hopefully some of these tips are helpful! If you want to have the support of us and other midlife women, jump into our free community here.
