Sad. Angry. Exhausted. For many of us, these emotions feel all-consuming, especially in midlife when the world has thrown so much our way. And you know what? That’s exactly how the world wants you to feel. Sad people are easy to manipulate. Scared people buy things out of panic. Angry people are easier to control. But happy? Joyful? Now those people are unstoppable.
Claiming joy is, without question, the ultimate act of rebellion. It's defiance against a world that expects you to stay quiet and accept that you can't have more. But here’s the good news—you can. Especially now, in midlife.
Because this is your time to unapologetically go after your joy.
Need a hand getting started? Here’s a list of 7 ways to inject more happiness into your week and truly live.
1. Filter Your Inputs
Did you know your brain processes 74 gigabytes of information daily? That’s the equivalent of watching 15 hours of Netflix every single day. But here’s the kicker—most of that input is negative. News stories designed to scare you. Crime reports. Political scandals. It’s overwhelming and, honestly, soul-sucking.
Here’s the thing, though—you control the filter. Your brain is wired to spot danger by default, but you can train it to see joy. Babe and I notice Chanel bags on the street, pink tails on fluffy white dogs, or impeccably dressed men in tailored jackets (bonus points if they’re Italian). We’ve also trained ourselves to ignore the doom-scrolling content. We skim Apple News for feel-good stories or fashion advice, avoid dark movies no matter how many Oscars they win, and immerse ourselves in uplifting reads, from epic fashion stories to, yes, the occasional tale of dogs befriending cats.
Choose joy as your filter, and the beauty you’ll see in small daily moments is honestly life-changing.
2. Surround Yourself with Joy Makers
You’ve heard it before because it’s true—you are the company you keep. Want joy as your default state? Seek out people who embody happiness. Spend time with friends who lift you up, not those who drain your energy.
But don’t stop there. Cut ties with anything (or anyone) toxic—your office gossip buddy, that family member who criticizes every choice you make, or even the pessimistic influencer clogging up your Instagram feed. The vibe? Joy and ease, baby. Anything less isn’t worth it.
3. Make Space for Micro-Adventures
Sometimes, the root of your joy slump is repetition. Same commute, same dinner, same weekend Netflix queue. It’s time to shake things up—not with a big overseas trip (unless the Amalfi Coast is calling your name, then DO IT), but with tiny, joyful experiments in your week.
Take a spontaneous day trip to the neighboring town, explore a farmer’s market, try roller skating, or attend a community art class. Micro-adventures allow you to reconnect with excitement and curiosity—all without taking a major chunk of time, energy, or money.
4. Say ‘Hell Yes’ to Small Indulgences
Joy isn’t reserved for the big things—it’s in the details. That means you don’t need a new car or a fancy getaway to feel the glow. Start simple:
Buy fresh flowers for your desk or kitchen.
Treat yourself to high-quality coffee beans—and savor every sip.
Light a candle for no reason other than the fact that you deserve it.
Invest in these small indulgences because they’re not frivolous; they’re statements that you’re worth it.
5. Move Your Body—But Make It Fun
Newsflash—exercise shouldn’t feel like punishment. Skip the grueling bootcamps if they make you miserable and instead rediscover movement that makes you happy. Whether it's dancing alone in your kitchen to your ‘80s playlist, going for a stroll in the park, or signing up for a beginner’s salsa class, find something that emphasizes fun over perfection.
Because the only fitness routine worth sticking to is the one that makes you smile.
6. Celebrate the Wins, Big and Small
When was the last time you really celebrated you? Not just the big milestones—a promotion, retirement, or new house—but the little steps along the way?
Did you clear out your inbox today? Cook dinner even though takeout was calling your name? Say “no” to something that didn’t serve you? Genuinely, that’s worth celebrating. Open a nice bottle of wine, buy that fancy dessert, or post a #SelfCareWin on your Instagram Stories.
The more you celebrate your wins, the more motivated you’ll feel to create that joy over and over again. (We’d love to celebrate your joy in our free online community for midlife women.)
7. Spend Time on Something You’re Passionate About
We’re all guilty of this—putting our passions on the back burner in favor of productivity. But carving out time for things you love—gardening, painting, writing, or even reading for pleasure—isn’t a luxury; it’s essential. When you prioritize passion, you’re not just rekindling joy; you’re nurturing your soul.
Schedule that hour (even if it means saying no to something else). And don’t forget the golden rule—it’s okay to do something just because it makes you happy. It doesn’t need to be profitable, Instagrammable, or even productive.
Reclaim Your Joy and Own It
Here’s the truth no one told us about midlife—it’s your time. You’ve spent decades being everything to everyone else, but now, you can finally step into joy unapologetically. You don’t have to justify it, apologize for it, or downplay it. Instead, you owe it to yourself (and the world, TBH) to shine.
Start small. Use these seven steps to bring joy into your everyday life. And if you’re ready to kick things up a notch? Grab a copy of The Selfish Season—a guide to prioritizing YOU in midlife. Because when you’re firing on all cylinders, nothing is out of reach.
We love you,
Xx
